Ada's Tale
Four years ago, Standing in Ikeja City Mall as a naive and overjoy-sixteen-year-old me, waiting for a date I had never met, it was my very first outing with a male, it was to teach me and teach me it would.
My phone rings, I pick it up...
"Baby, walk towards KFC, I'm wearing green" his seemingly romantic voice causes me to flush.
"Okay, me I'm wearing red" I put off the phone and go in search of him.
My eyes catch, him, this must be him looking like his social media pictures, but, he is short, I hate short guys, my smile degenerates into a slight frown.
"Hi" I manage to blurt out, forcing a smile, why is he short?
"Hey baby!" He says baby like an Igbo man, I look at his stomach, shit! He is not only short, he's fucking pot bellied, I think I'm gonna die, people would see me with this shitty dude?.
"Where do we go?" I am straight to the point..
" let's go to the bar upstairs" he smiles , at least he is nice, we would get to sit down, maybe he has money.
We climb the stairs and go to Rhapsody, i mean Rhapsody the great bar I have so heard a lot about, we sit opposite each other, I take in his face, oh my! Dude is ugly! A waitress comes, smiling, almost laughing , maybe more at the sight of a fine woman with an elf or maybe at my synthetic weavon.
"Welcome to Rhapsody, what would you like to have please?" Waitress smiles, fingering the sheet of paper in her hand.
"Baby, what do you want?" Date smiles.
"Malt" I blurt out, what more can a naive little girl on her first date want?
" We don't sell malt , we have Bailey's, Hennessey, Chapman,...."
"Chapman is okay, I have taken it before" I cut waitress off, I remembered Chapman, I took it when I went to Sheraton with my dad.
"Its just one thousand naira , how many glasses do I bring?" She looks at date .
Dafuk! Did she just say one thousand naira ?
Date shifts on his chair, he breaks a sweat, he doesn't speak, this guy obviously is a broke ass like me;!.
"How many please?" Waitress repeats the question .
"Bring only one" Date is not smiling, I begin to feel bad.
They bring the drink, date brings out a thousand naira note and pays, his last card, how do we go home?
"Baby, drink" he sits back and looks down, okay, short, pot bellied, ugly and broke, this is so good!
"No, I don't want, please drink it" I'm shocked at my voice, what am I doing?
"Okay, thank you" Nigga pulls the drink close and begins to sip.
Did he just...........?? Shit!, I'm dead.
I look down, avoid his face until he sips it all and we get ready to go .
Guess what? We trekked the freaking way home, I trekked from Ikeja to Berger while he trekked to Agege, I went out, took nothing and trekked home.
I never saw this guy again , never called him again.
2017, four years later, this story makes me laugh and cry!
©Duruem Glory Ada
My phone rings, I pick it up...
"Baby, walk towards KFC, I'm wearing green" his seemingly romantic voice causes me to flush.
"Okay, me I'm wearing red" I put off the phone and go in search of him.
My eyes catch, him, this must be him looking like his social media pictures, but, he is short, I hate short guys, my smile degenerates into a slight frown.
"Hi" I manage to blurt out, forcing a smile, why is he short?
"Hey baby!" He says baby like an Igbo man, I look at his stomach, shit! He is not only short, he's fucking pot bellied, I think I'm gonna die, people would see me with this shitty dude?.
"Where do we go?" I am straight to the point..
" let's go to the bar upstairs" he smiles , at least he is nice, we would get to sit down, maybe he has money.
We climb the stairs and go to Rhapsody, i mean Rhapsody the great bar I have so heard a lot about, we sit opposite each other, I take in his face, oh my! Dude is ugly! A waitress comes, smiling, almost laughing , maybe more at the sight of a fine woman with an elf or maybe at my synthetic weavon.
"Welcome to Rhapsody, what would you like to have please?" Waitress smiles, fingering the sheet of paper in her hand.
"Baby, what do you want?" Date smiles.
"Malt" I blurt out, what more can a naive little girl on her first date want?
" We don't sell malt , we have Bailey's, Hennessey, Chapman,...."
"Chapman is okay, I have taken it before" I cut waitress off, I remembered Chapman, I took it when I went to Sheraton with my dad.
"Its just one thousand naira , how many glasses do I bring?" She looks at date .
Dafuk! Did she just say one thousand naira ?
Date shifts on his chair, he breaks a sweat, he doesn't speak, this guy obviously is a broke ass like me;!.
"How many please?" Waitress repeats the question .
"Bring only one" Date is not smiling, I begin to feel bad.
They bring the drink, date brings out a thousand naira note and pays, his last card, how do we go home?
"Baby, drink" he sits back and looks down, okay, short, pot bellied, ugly and broke, this is so good!
"No, I don't want, please drink it" I'm shocked at my voice, what am I doing?
"Okay, thank you" Nigga pulls the drink close and begins to sip.
Did he just...........?? Shit!, I'm dead.
I look down, avoid his face until he sips it all and we get ready to go .
Guess what? We trekked the freaking way home, I trekked from Ikeja to Berger while he trekked to Agege, I went out, took nothing and trekked home.
I never saw this guy again , never called him again.
2017, four years later, this story makes me laugh and cry!
©Duruem Glory Ada
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